As a child I was incredibly restless- not really "full of energy" or "unable to focus" but just needed to really be moving all the time. Or at least stretching.
Since it didn't affect my grades at all my teachers paid very little attention to my obvious discomfort, as did my parents- not out of lack of care, but they just really didn't know what to chalk it up to other than that "Shelby just likes to move."
Throughout my elementary and junior high education I had to sit, stationary, in a desk for almost the entirety of the day (except for phy ed which I hated because getting hit in the face with a ball is not "moving," it's getting hit in the face). Because this was so uncomfortable I finally mentioned my restlessness to my family practice doctor during a regular physical. Without doing any tests he immediately supplied me with the phrase "Restless Leg Syndrome," and suggested that if it continues that I could be put on Adderall.
Looking back now I know that I probably did not have "Restless Leg Syndrome," or rather, I did, but I'm just like everyone else who just likes to move. We're not "sick," we don't have "a problem." We like to move. That's it. But because my education required that I sit, pay attention, and be quiet I forced myself to do that so I could "succeed" in the way that my parents and teachers wanted me to.
Am I blaming them? No.
I'm saying that the system to which I adhered restricted movement in order to create an non-chaotic and focused space and that system simply didn't work for me. There's not really place to "blame" anyone for anything, but there's room, I think, to critique the way that my "restlessness" was dealt with.
The science and politics of my "RLS" diagnosis definitely play off one another. Scientifically, I guess I have biology that leads to my need to stretch more than normal people (...?). My body needs to be fidgeting at all times. However, I think this also is a psychological thing. I was told I need to sit still for eight hours of the day with a 30 minute break to run around the playground. This, I think, led to unease simply because that's a long time to sit still so I think that anticipation made me antsy.
Politically, it's the "social norm" to sit in a classroom. To listen and watch but not move in school. So, instead of someone recognizing that I like to move around more than other children and suggesting dance, theatre, sports, etc, for me to do or even having the class sit in circles and move around during the day in productive ways I was given a "diagnosis" and told to "sit still." My "diagnosis" was also partly to settle my parents because now they didn't have a "problem child" they just had a "kid with RLS." I think that's much easier to handle than the former.
Now, from nature and nurture, I still have a very hard time sitting still, however, I've tried to focus my energy into productive outlets because the "system" isn't going to change to accommodate my needs (even though I think it might be better for everyone anyway- if we were taught regarding our whole person- body and mind- instead of just focusing on the neck up). "Nurture" has taught me how to train myself to sit still when I need to, and how to channel my energy. "Nature" screwed me and put me in a society that likes people who "sit."
I think this is really interesting. I myself don't have RLS, but you bring up really good points about our education system today. Everything is so revolved around sitting in our chair, taking notes, and doing as we are told. But there are many other 'active' learners, like myself, who learn best by doing. You're right- there is no one to specifically blame about this, it is just the way our society works.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure that psychology plays a large role in this. One thing plays off another. I think this is related to the Blank Slate and how this didn't come about because it is something you were born with, it came about over time after hours of sitting on end. I've never heard of RLS, but your perspective on it is something that I think more people today need to have, on any disorder.
RLS is a perfect mind-body case. It's real. Probably fewer have it than are diagnosed. It seems linked to seizing disorders (not to ADD). If you've got it; you know it. Muscles 'itch' and you've just got to move. Moving, it's fine--nothing. Sit still: tormented.
ReplyDeleteDoesn't sound like you 'have' it.
But it sure shaped a life.